Taking a risk..

It's a big risk. I know most people would agree with me if I say that taking risks are essential in order for us to achieve are dreams and goals. But will you still take a risk even if you're already sure that you'll be losing something in the course of it? Something you've work hard for the past years of your life? Will you? It's like choosing one thing over the other, but it so happen that both are truly important for you, and you just can't afford to lose any of it.

This is my dilemma. I have a dream, a path, that I want to take. It's not just an ordinary path, it is a path which is very different for me, or for what the others would say right for me. But this is me. This is what I would really like to take. I couldn't imagine myself reaching for other dream than this. I want to become an actress. A real one. It has been my dream since I was a child. But no one knows this. Even my parents have no idea about it. But I want to and I don't know how to reach for it. I grew up as a shy child. So, I never been really into a real stage and act. But I want to. I really want to. It's like the passion is in my blood. It's in my soul. The only problem is I am afraid to act on it.

I planned to audition for Teatro Tomasino this year. But I think, it will forever be just a plan. Yes, I'm afraid to audition. But it's not only that. Someone told me that the meetings are always held every 6:00-9:00pm, and it only means that I'm doomed. Coz even if I've manage to gather my courage and pass the audition, I still can't join. Why? Coz my parents wouldn't approve it. My curfew is before six! Yeah, they're that strict. Plus, I'm a student of the College of Science. And it's hard to maintain grades. Really hard, especially if you want to become a dean's lister. I am one. And everyone is counting on me. I've been a good student since high school. And I really work hard for my grades even then. I'm no genius. I believe in working hard and having the determination to have good grades. And I want to keep it that way.

But how? How could I reach my dreams without giving up my studies? Studies are very important for me. I'd always say that school is my life, and it's true. Everyone expect me to be an achiever in academics. But how could I be the person I wanted to be? How could I reach my dreams? How?

I hope that before this year ends, I would have the answers.

--Monday: April 14, 2008; 2:00pm--