Just like my story

Have you read it? One Love, One Lifetime. I hope you had, but if you hadn't then I strongly advice you to read first the One Love, One Lifetime that I had posted preceding this entry.

It's a nice true to life story written by quickmelt. I read it first on "The Best of Youngblood," a book-compilation of stories submitted by young writers in the Philippine Daily Inquirer column. I fell in love with her story the first time I'd read it. It was just like my story. I could relate on every lines and every words she'd said. It is as if that if I could ever write my own story in details, then there's no other way I could write it and describe it better than by using quickmelt's own words.

It was just like my story, though of course, there were a slight of differences.

It was November last year, when I first felt that there was 'something'. I was 17 then. I first thought that this feeling of something would pass by if I do not think of it that much. I thought that if I just ignore the feeling and act as if everything was in my control, then everything will be back to normal. But fortunately or unfortunately, it didn't. And don't get me wrong, it's not that this was my first time to have a crush or get attracted on someone. It was just that…this time, it IS totally different.

It was entirely and downright different. People of all ages had always describe love as a feeling. A strange blissful feeling that I guess, it could be compared to the euphoric sensations that people under the influence of drugs crave for. That's why for me, 'falling in love' itself is a kind of an addiction. The greatest addiction that a human being could ever felt in his/her entire lifetime. But just like what I've said, mine was a different story. It doesn't involve those cliché symptoms that most people knew and most young people would find on the net when they search in Google or Yahoo, "how to know when you're in love?"

Usually, they say that you know that you're in love when, you start to hear the beating of your heart gets faster, and louder than the stamping of a thousand of horses by the mere sight of that special someone. When you blush whenever that someone is around; when you can't help but to look into his/her direction always; when you couldn't manage to look straight in the eyes of that someone; when you feel a combination of that overwhelming happiness and nervousness at the same time, just right there in your stomach, that makes you feel you want to pupu when s/he is around; when you ignore all his/her flaws and decided to love every little bit of him/her even if it means that you would tolerate his/her little insanity; when you couldn't help but think of him/her all day long, and blah blah blah blah… I'm pretty sure everyone of you knows, or probably, had already experienced what I'm talking about. Right? Right. But I beg to disagree.

This was not my case. But I did already experience all of those symptoms that, as they say, you've fallen in love with someone. And sad to say that those few persons that have given me this kind of feeling was NOT truly the person I loved. Well, yes, maybe I have liked them. But that's it, just a little intense than a simple admiration. But I know that it was not love. It was just a simple liking, or maybe you called that infatuation (But I still beg to disagree that it was infatuation, coz for your information, infatuation involve some kind of sexual desire to your object of affection, and I don't have any of it to my previous crushes).

So, how come mine was different? It's simple, just take the opposite of what everything I've said about how to know you're in love (except the last one that I've said about 'you can't help but think of him/her'). And that's it. That's what I've felt. Nothing different. Nothing romantic, no fast beating of heart, no nervousness, or anything.

So you might be wondering what it's like whenever we're together? Well, it was downright casual, just like how you chat and go along with your bestfriend. Though, of course, he was not my bestfriend and I am not his. And maybe, this was the reason why I never had the feeling of nervousness around him, and I never felt uncomfortable in his presence, because first of all, he is my friend. (And mind you, it has a lot of advantages and disadvantages. But I won't discuss it here. It deserves another article.) Second, it was a gradual thing that I didn't even really notice that I was already falling.

It was too natural to be unnatural, but still it was different. I know that this time, it was for real. I am in love, at last. (Or maybe, I just thought I am.) How did I know? I guess, once you've feel it, you will know right then and there that that was something. Something more than just a simple liking. Sometimes, you don't even have to ask yourself, you just need to trust your intuition. And no matter how many times you ignore it, or even resist it, you would still, sooner or later, fall in the trap.

I guess, knowing that you're in love with someone is just the same thing as in eating; in knowing whether you're really hungry or not, whether a certain food is a want or a need. Most people likes chocolates or anything sweet, since it give them a delightful feeling. That is a want, but I know, and you know, that a person can still live without chocolates even for a lifetime. You could still live even without those favorite foods you want. Besides, no one takes chocolates every meal. But compared to water? Everyone needs water, even if sometimes people don't realize it that they can't live without it. The same with love. Choose the person that you can't live without.